And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
