he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
