Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
so much tequila, so little girl.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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