im so drunk with asians
where?
always
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
