My room smells like vodka and shame
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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