She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
