I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
