I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
