why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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