both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
