the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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