watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
