Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Everyone says I win the strip club
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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