sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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