i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
