Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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