chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
operation harelip BJ is a go
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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