I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She even gives head with a lisp.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
