Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
