You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize