I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
