i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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