I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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