why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
