Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
