Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
