chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
