Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize