just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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