i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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