Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
