so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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