Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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