so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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