If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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