did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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