i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just pee around me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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