Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm going to jail i love you
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
