I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
