I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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