margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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