I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
