Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
