I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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