I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
