Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
