Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
