Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
