Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
