Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
