All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
