i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
