have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
