The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
