he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
