Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
