I got chris browned last night
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
