And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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