She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
