Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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