it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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