Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
