just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
